Void

when there is a void in your life...
how do you fill it?
when you have that thought deeeeeeeeeeeeeep back in your mind
so far back you dot even know whats bothering you
but you are indeed bothered
new world
new globe
new hair
new clothes
even bought a new fresh pair of Nikes
and ya got a good deal
75% off with a coupon
but ya still have that VOID stamp on your brain
like some one stealing your identity
but instead of trying to take your money
they are stealing parts of your life
or like when ya spouse tells you that they love you
when both of you know that it should have ended years ago
or even like when you own sibling is never there for you when ya need them
thats a void i can deal with but is this the same "V" word thats bothering me
lingering in my mead and never paying rent!
trudging away in my skull acting like it owns the place
some times i wonder if im strong enough of a landlord to stick up for my self
and kick void to the curb
but it makes me feel spineless
so i guess all i need is to keep drinking my milk for strong bones...
ya maybe that will work?
or i can be like that crazy lady throwing her "ex" boys clothes out the window screaming I HATE YOU for the whole neighborhood to hear
ya void .... im kicking you out today!

'Night' in Shining Armour

stuck in the sky
neither up nor down
gazing at the stars in awe
contemplating how they all connect
to paint a picture of you
my eyes sparkle!
with the flicker of ya portrait
pitch black with gems prettier then Diamonds
the ones that consist of keeping the form of your heart
i string them into a necklace that falls to my chest
keep you close
you heart near mine
take the crystals of ya mind
make a barrette out of it to hold my hair back
keep you close
your mind near mine
your wise thoughts and endless love
forever with me
i know you are one with the sky and you let me finally fall
back in to life so that i may remember
all the great nights all the great times
Even though i miss you every waking moment
you will always shine ya stars on me
no longer in the sky i rest my head
I have found peace of mind....
and heart

Reoccurring Seasons

Cold as the snow that falls slow from above
on the first day of January
you froze me with your emotion
even though the truth i could not bear
i had to soak up the chilly water
and move on

to spring
as my lips began to thaw
i could finally release a word
let go of the feelings i held inside
and as the syllables poured off my tongue
my heart felt a release, pouring

into summer
where my soul began to bloom again
absorbing the tickle of the sunlight
in order to nurture my emotions back to health
a heat wave that melted away my scars
cinnamon toasted skin now clear from lesions
free from you
i shed you off of me

like Autumn
the bits that were left of you
the parts that were dead in me
they drift
softly to the concrete
only to be swept away by the neighbor lady
and then i cover my bear emotions with a coat
when i saw you again

in winter
you froze my world again
hardening my own being itself
like the year rewound
and the warming never happened
hurt , pain, suffering, and cold
engulf my body all at once
like the last snow fall of December
I’m frozen
stuck in time
again....

Voice like the wind

voice like the wind
my skin feels your wisdom pass over it
and my hair is tickled by your humor
and the ambient whistle around me
it whispers
i miss you...
a gentle breeze on a summer day
not too hot where though
because then the heat would take over your presence
and never like a wind in a storm
because you were always so kind and loving
soft flow of you around
the days go by easier when i know you are there with me
never along when i feel the breeze
cooling me when i need it most
making my day when you know i was down
voice like the wind
you know exactly what to say
when
and how
my summer breeze
I'll see you again next year
promise


[rip Abdul we miss you]

Fat Feelings

It was as if I were hungry
starving to feel something
to feel wanted in this world
anorexic with depressioni need feel
so i ate and ate
consumed so much that i gained
a few joyous moments here and there
but in the end just heavy in appearance
overweight with feelings that were hallow
but filled with bullsh**
no meaning behind them
fake love
fake happiness
fake compassion
with rolls of lies on my back
and creases of hate on my belly
so feeling less once again
such a big person but so empty
with stretch marks that tell my story
line by line each telling a chapter of my life
and no matter how much i work out
how much i ever try to burn off
i will remain inflated with nothingness....
this is not just something that jenny could change
nothing Dr.Phil could fix
not even Tyra could try and empathize with me
and i will not let Oprah televise my problems for a profit
only hope left i have is Godso that's where my leave my hopes to
to be filled with emotion
well good ones at least...

Glass Hearts

hearts made of glass
shattered into pieces so small
they were invisible to the naked eye
making them nonexistent to the human world

glass hearts always break
so i made mine out of stone
it cant be moved just like a mountain
unless by the intervention of God

i heard glass breaking
but its never me just poor souls loosing love
as the their blood seeps through the cracks
loosing life slowly and painfully as they die a little inside

glass, breaks, hearts, love
fragile, crumbled, pumping, emotion
is your heart destroyed or is it still standing
whats your heart made of

Paper cut

the letter of my life
torn
split right down the middle
as if you were on a bad date
and the guy asked the girl to split the bill with him
awkward when the tearing sound echos
in a room full of people you barely know
uncomfortable, like a paper cut
on the part of your finger where you usually hold a pen
not enough neosporin could heal this wound
just open
painful
it stings
to know that the one that you loved
is the murderer of your sheet of paper
they tore you
they cut you
they crumpled you up
and didn't even recycle you
because in there eyes all you ever were
was just
trash